No joke — I actually woke up this morning, got a cup of orange juice and for some reason just blurted out, “My name is John Daker!” This video has been a favorite of mine for quite some time — I just can’t help but laugh. Enjoy.

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Okay, I need to take this silly April Fools Day opportunity to tell everyone about my favorite website: www.something.com. Check out the website – its amazing. I found this website when I was in the 10th grade bored on a computer and I just typed in “www.something.com” to see what was there. I laughed and laughed. To this day, I laugh hysterically every time I visit the page. I can only imagine the enjoyment the site owner gets . . . seeing how many millions or billions of hits he gets on his nonsense page every day. It just cracks me up.

For the html-ers out there, you also might enjoy to look at the simplicity of the html code.

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I consider myself a Creationist because I believe God created the Earth and everything in it. Most Creationists really depend on every word from Genesis. They believe what Genesis says.

But I’m starting to doubt that now.

I mean, Phil Collins isn’t even that good of a drummer.

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Whoever started the trend of putting the word “just” in front of the phrase “a peanut butter and jelly sandwich” is an idiot.

“JUST” a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. JUST?! What?! Do you have any idea how tasty a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich is? Oh my gosh. They’re wonderful. Especially with milk. “Just” implies that its not that big of a deal. Those sandwiches are actually really good!

Instead of saying “I want JUST a peanut butter and jelly sandwich” I’m going to start saying, “I want a GLORIOUS AND MAGNIFICENT peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

‘Cuz they’re good. . . . . Think about it.

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I’m almost 24, but I feel old right now.

Yesterday I was eating lunch with a 16 year old that I mentor. He told me something he was going to do, and I asked him, “Are your parents down with that?”

He said, “What?”

I repeated, “Are your parents down with that?”

“Are they what?”

Again, I repeated “Are your parents down with that?”

Then he laughed at me. “Are they ‘down with it’? Man Adam, I had to think about what that meant. That’s old school. Nobody talks like that anymore.”

Readers – please tell me I’m not the only one who uses the phrase “down with it”! At least I’ve backed off my usage of words like “tubular” and “rad” (yes, I really did say those words quite often).

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Last year I shared this wonderful audio file for Christmas. This year I wanted to share a wonderful music group from Indiana University called “Straight No Chaser” getting confused on their Christmas repertoire. This is fantastic on so many levels. You’ll love it!

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Mahatma Gandi walked barefoot most of the time – which produced major calluses on his feet. He ate very little, which made him very frail and gave him bad breath.

That makes him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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My Shoes Fart.

I’m serious. I just got these new multi-toned brown leather shoes yesterday. Today, every step I take on my left foot sounds like an expulsion of air. If this happened in 7th grade I would take the credit for the sound myself and would be the most popular kid in middle school — but since I’m older I guess it won’t do anything for my social status.

My Paper Clips Had a Party. 

I don’t use paper clips very often, but I went to grab one today and I discovered that someone had connected them together — all of them.  Since the culprit obviously just wanted to pull a gag and get some attention, I figure I’d give it to them here on my blog. Way to go, whoever you are . . . and when I find out who you are . . . well . . . let’s just hope I don’t find out who you are.

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One of my favorite shows is Judge Judy. She is so blunt, and most of the people she deals with on the show are complete idiots. Oh my goodness. I think its hilarious. Here’s a few bits of “wisdom” I’ve gathered from Judge Judy (this may or may not be wisdom — but they made me laugh!).

“They don’t keep me around here because I’m 5′ 6″ and gorgeous. They keep me here because I am very, very smart.”

“Put your kids in daycare and get a job!”

“Listen to me – you won’t solve your financial problems by making another baby.”

“Grow up! Your tears won’t make it with me.”

“I don’t want to hear ‘blah, blah, blah,’ I can hear ‘blah, blah, blah,’ when I talk with my three year old. Tell me the words he said!”

“If it doesn’t make sense its probably not true.”

(“Vern (the bailiff), would you get these children a place to sit outside the courtroom please? I am about to loose it.”

“You can’t get in the back door what you can’t get in the front door.” (THAT’S REAL WISDOM!)

“You’re a nasty, nasty lady.”

“Don’t just stand there — you look like an idiot.”

[Beginning of case] “This is a case where dumb is suing dumber. This should be short.”

And my absolute favorite is something that was said TO Judge Judy, “In the name of Jesus I’m going to smack the devil out of you!”

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