The Big Diehl

Here’s a list of my top ten favorite speakers. Now, they’re not good communicators — I just like the way they talk. Maybe you’ll get a kick out of it. So here’s my Top Ten list . . . only there’s five of them, not ten.

Floyd the Barber from the Andy Griffith Show.

Ernest T. Bass, also from the Andy Griffith Show.

Boomhauer (if you only watch one video – watch this one!)

This guy.

Tay Zonday.

Do you ever have a day where you just need to listen to some Herbie Hancock? For some reason, when I have a million things on my plate, listening to Herbie’s “Watermelon Man” helps me think about one thing at a time (and then accomplish more, or at least accomplish it sanely).

What’s your “Watermelon Man?” What’s your Herbie Hancock? What do you listen to when you’re in a particular funk?

Do you ever have days where you just want to drag Bill Gates down a dirt road?

Let me tell you something — I’ve traveled to many places in the country. I’ve been in six other countries. In all my travels and experience, not once have I found an extra life. I’ve looked for extra lives — I can’t find them.

Can you imagine how cool it would be if you actually found and extra life! I mean if you’re ticked at someone on the freeway you could just get angry and flip your car or something. Who cares — you have an extra life, and you would die but then you’d come right back to life and respawn with your car on other freeway.

Yea, too bad life is not a video game.

You will become stupider if you watch this – I’m not going to lie. However, this video does make a good point about nonverbal communication. Only 10% of what you communicate is communicated with words (which is why writing a book can be very difficult).

I hate it when Christians spend so much time telling everyone what they are against that its unclear what they are actually for. When sharing the message of salvation with someone, topics of evolution and abortion are completely irrelevant to the discussion — yet I’ve seen Christians try to evangelize by arguing about abortion.

I hate it when individual Christians do the same thing — usually its in the form of negative talk. Let’s pick our battles carefully. Yesterday I threw together a funny list of stuff I’m against; I intentionally didn’t spend a lot of time on it. Here’s todays list of the top ten things I am for:

10) Bible memorization.

9) Tithes and offerings.

8 ) Expressive Worship.

7) Budgets.

6) Honesty.

5) Church growth.

4) Attitude and Motive.

3) The Ministry of the Holy Spirit.

2) Mentoring through relationship.

1) Salvation.

I will discuss each of these ten things in more detail in the next ten blog posts.

10) Boring Meetings (ones where no preparations were made).

9) Long Grass.

8 ) Drugs.

7) Wardrobe malfunctions. Definitely against those.

6) Vegetarians.

5) Libertarians.

4) Those Penny Loafer shoes without a penny in them – that’s ridiculous! They’re called “PENNY Loafers” for a reason. It is so out of style to wear Penny Loafers without the penny. Geesh!

3) Hate, Gossip, Negativity, and Inconsistency.

2) Top Ten Lists.

1) Diet Soda.

Everyone stinks at something. Some people stink at a lot of things. Take Louis the Weatherman, for example (that’s a HILARIOUS video – go watch it). Louis is just a very bad weather guy, but I doubt he’s bad at everything. Maybe he’s very gifted at fixing a car or something.

If you stink at being a weatherman, DO SOMETHING ELSE! The secret to being good at everything is to only do the stuff you’re good at (that’s not an absolute statement but a good guideline). Pick out the stuff you do well, and do more of that!

I believe that every Christian is the best person in the world for at least one thing. For example, you might be the best person in the world to share Christ with “Jim” today. You might be the best person in the world to speak into a group of people’s lives. God has set up his Church with gifts and relationships in such a way that every Christian is the best person in the world at something.

Find it. Then do it.

But this is ridiculous. This is the smallest guitar player I’ve ever seen!

David Letterman is famous for his Top Ten lists that he does every night on CBS’s “Late Show.” Usually the lists are complex and interesting, like “Top Ten ways you know its too hot in New York” or “Top Ten reasons to watch Jay Leno” or “Top Ten reasons my Mom is great.”

But tonight the list was the “Top Ten Things.”

Things. It was a list of the top ten THINGS: popcorn shrimp, shark week, balm, snake bite antidote, Tommy Lasorda, Telemundo, Cole Slaw, Season 1 of Magnum P.I. on DVD, Fudge, and Jessica Biel.

This has to be my favorite top ten list David Letterman has ever done. It’s hilarious. Its a top ten list of THINGS.

This simplification made me think of a great saying: “simplify, intensify.” The idea here is that we should do fewer things, but intensify our passion in those things. For example, if I played the tuba, piano, clarinet, drums, violin, cello, flute, and acordian, I will only be decent at all of them. But if I simplify the number of instruments and intensify all of my efforts on just the piano – I can be incredible at the piano. Simplify, intensify. I think this is a continual effort we all need to work towards. Examine your life in terms of the simplify, intensify idea. Every once in a while I think we all need to “clean up” the extra stuff and intensify our focus towards our goals.