A lot of relational and offenses arise because people forget the difference between position and disposition.
“Position” = Your stance on a certain issue.
“Disposition” = The way you communicate yourself.
Okay so in case you’re not following me yet, here’s an example. Imagine that I’m your boss, and I need to make a change in your performance.
Scenario A: “Hey I love the quality of your widgets, but I really need you to step it up a notch in this area. Keep up the good quality!”
Scenario B: “What is your problem, Nerd?! You’re slowing down the whole line because you’re such an idiot. Hurry up and focus more – this part needs to be better!!” (Accompanied by negative nonverbal communication as well).
In both scenarios, the position was the same; you needed to perform better in a particular area. But the dispositions were drastically different.
Now here’s the catch – nobody ever sees past our dispositions. That’s so important that I’ll say it again: NOBODY EVER SEES PAST OUR DISPOSITION.
I wager to say that most misunderstandings are (for lack of a better word) *misunderstood*, and are actually a result of a bad disposition. This is a major portion of interpersonal conflicts, guys. This is actually kind of a big deal, at least as big of a deal as interpersonal communication is.
Your disposition needs to remain a positive one as much as possible, but its essential that it remains positive if you ever need to confront another on a sinful issue or concern. Christian screw this up all the time. Bad disposition is what turns a Christ following disciple into a bigot.
Bigots would say:
“Oh my gosh you did what?! You do know what you did was wrong, right? You’re such a sinner. I can’t believe I’m even talking to you. You ought to repent and READ YOUR BIBLE right now. Maybe you’ll stand a chance to not wind up in hell!”
Such a bad disposition! Nobody ever sees past that! Because of so many confrontations like that, it has caused the spirituality of so many Christians to dry up. We fear confessing our sins to one another because of it. Perhaps worse, we fear confronting another person on their sin because we fear sounding like it.
But we need to remember its not our position that’s the problem, its our disposition.
With a good disposition, we can lovingly and caringly challenge another Christian to live holy: “Hey, recently I seem to have noticed a lot of bitterness in you. You doing okay? Is there anything I can do to help?”
Christianity aside, far too many leaders in the workforce don’t ever make adjustments to their staff because they’re scared of being the meanie. I think this is a major reason leadership suffers so much in our nation – nobody wants to be the mean guy; everyone is scared of their disposition. But folks, its not the position (good employees WANT feedback), its the DISposition.
Wouldn’t our relationships be so much better if everyone read this blog?
Let’s get real, though – they won’t.
But you did.
Remember how I said that “NOBODY SEES PAST YOUR DISPOSITION”? Well, that’s not entirely true. You can. If you think about it. Sometimes people can be 100% wrong in their disposition but can be 100% right in their position. That position is what we need to listen for. It’s hard sometimes, but we need to get past HOW someone says something and actually hear what they’re saying. When they say something about you, it can be incredibly hurtful. When “corrections” are thrown at you in an insulting way, they may actually be only 1% right and 99% wrong in their position.
But that 1% of truth may make 100% of the difference in your life, if you’re smart enough to listen for it.
F*ckin’ awesome things here. I am very glad to look your post. Thank you so much and i am looking forward to touch you. Will you please drop me a mail?
Having read this I thought it was rather enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this article together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!
IÃm impressed, I must say. Seldom do I encounter a blog thatÃs both educative and interesting, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that too few people are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I stumbled across this in my search for something concerning this.
There’s definately a great deal to learn about this topic. I really like all the points you’ve made.
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who was conducting a little research on this. And he in fact ordered me breakfast because I discovered it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to talk about this matter here on your internet site.
May I simply say what a comfort to find an individual who truly understands what they’re talking about online. You certainly understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. A lot more people must check this out and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you aren’t more popular since you definitely possess the gift.
That is a really good tip especially to those new to the blogosphere. Simple but very precise informationÖ Many thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!
I wanted to thank you for this excellent read!! I certainly loved every bit of it. I have you book-marked to check out new things you postÖ
I love it when people get together and share thoughts. Great website, keep it up!
Hi, I believe your web site might be having browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in I.E., it’s got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Apart from that, fantastic site!
Greetings! Very useful advice within this article! It’s the little changes that make the most significant changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
Amazing! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Great choice of colors!
I’ve been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this site. Thanks , I will try and check back more often. How frequently you update your website?
Good post! We are linking to this particularly great article on our site. Keep up the good writing.
Spot on with this write-up, I seriously feel this web site needs a great deal more attention. IÃll probably be back again to read more, thanks for the advice!
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who has been conducting a little research on this. And he in fact bought me dinner due to the fact that I discovered it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to discuss this subject here on your website.
I believe you have observed some very interesting points , thankyou for the post.
I in addition to my pals appeared to be reviewing the great secrets located on your website and then before long I got a horrible feeling I never expressed respect to the blog owner for those techniques. These young men are already consequently excited to see all of them and now have in truth been taking advantage of them. We appreciate you being really thoughtful and then for deciding on these kinds of extraordinary issues millions of individuals are really desirous to be aware of. Our own honest apologies for not expressing gratitude to you earlier.
The next time I read a blog, I hope that it does not disappoint me as much as this particular one. After all, I know it was my choice to read through, however I really thought you would probably have something useful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of moaning about something that you could possibly fix if you weren’t too busy looking for attention.
Hi, I do believe this is an excellent site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going to come back once again since I book marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.
This website was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me. Appreciate it!
This is the perfect web site for anybody who wants to understand this topic. You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally would want toÖHaHa). You certainly put a fresh spin on a topic that has been discussed for many years. Great stuff, just great!
An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a friend who was doing a little research on this. And he actually ordered me breakfast because I discovered it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this subject here on your blog.
What’s up colleagues, how is everything, and what you wish for to say
regarding this post, in my view its in fact awesome in support
of me.
I value the blog.Much thanks again.
Everything is very open with a really clear clarification of the challenges. It was really informative. Your website is useful. Thanks for sharing!
An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I do believe that you should publish more about this subject matter, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people do not speak about such topics. To the next! Best wishes!!
Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thanks, However I am going through troubles with your RSS. I donÃt understand the reason why I can’t join it. Is there anybody getting the same RSS issues? Anybody who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanx!!
Excellent blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Thanks a lot!
Hey there would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re working with? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a reasonable price? Many thanks, I appreciate it!
This is the right blog for everyone who hopes to understand this topic. You know a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I really would want toÖHaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic which has been written about for years. Excellent stuff, just great!
You’ve made some good points there. I checked on the net for more information about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this website.
IÃm amazed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog thatÃs both equally educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something which not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I came across this during my hunt for something concerning this.
This is one very informative blog. I like the way you write and I will bookmark your blog to my favorites.
My spouse and i have been quite lucky when Edward managed to carry out his homework via the precious recommendations he acquired out of your weblog. It’s not at all simplistic just to choose to be giving for free tips which usually most people could have been making money from. And we also take into account we now have the blog owner to be grateful to for that. All of the illustrations you have made, the easy web site navigation, the relationships your site assist to create it is most excellent, and it’s really facilitating our son and the family understand this article is pleasurable, and that’s pretty fundamental. Thank you for all the pieces!
I really love your website.. Great colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself? Please reply back as IÃm trying to create my own site and would like to find out where you got this from or just what the theme is named. Appreciate it!
I really love your website.. Great colors & theme. Did you develop this web site yourself? Please reply back as IÃm attempting to create my own personal website and want to find out where you got this from or what the theme is named. Cheers!
An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a friend who had been doing a little research on this. And he actually bought me breakfast simply because I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time to discuss this issue here on your blog.
You’ve made some good points there. I looked on the internet to learn more about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this site.
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular post! It is the little changes that will make the greatest changes. Thanks for sharing!
Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you so much, However I am having problems with your RSS. I donÃt understand the reason why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody else getting similar RSS issues? Anybody who knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanks!!
A motivating discussion is worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you should write more about this topic, it might not be a taboo matter but usually people do not discuss such topics. To the next! Cheers!!
Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you so much, However I am experiencing difficulties with your RSS. I donÃt understand the reason why I am unable to join it. Is there anybody else having the same RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanks!!
I was just seeking this information for a while. After 6 hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your site. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that do not rank this kind of informative web sites in top of the list. Generally the top web sites are full of garbage.
Hey!. Interesting material! I’m really appreciate it. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on essayscambusters)
Irrespective of which part of the body it strikes, psoriasis can be recognized from any other ailment by these obviously recognized symptoms. Many studies have pointed out that pustular psoriasis of the palms and soles, a variant of psoriasis, is aggravated by smoking. Since psoriasis is in your blood stream so will be the medicine.
Aloha! Awesome! I’m really enjoy this. It will be great if you’ll read my first article on essayscambusters)
I cannot thank you enough for the article.Really thank you! Want more.
Very nice write-up. I absolutely love this site. Stick with it!
Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Spending some time and actual effort to make a top notch articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I procrastinate a lot and don’t manage to get anything done.