Why do we get frustrated?
I think its because our expectations aren’t being met. That’s all frustrations are — unmet expectations. We never call it that – but if you’re frustrated — somewhere in the situation is an expectation that’s not being met.
Whether we didn’t close a deal, had a waitress bring the wrong food, or having a clash with some family member — unmet expectations are FRUSTRATING!
It’s ESPECIALLY FRUSTRATING when our expectations are not being met by things that are out of our control. Like let’s say your crazy boss is ruining your life. You can’t change your crazy boss; you have no control over him! But we DO have control over how we handle our unmet expectations.
Here’s four options.
1) Cling to your expectations.
Sometimes our expectations are hills worth dying on. Sometimes its noble.
But it should never be the only choice. If we only cling to our expectations, we will STAY frustrated and never get beyond it. That’s not just frustration — that’s the making for a grudge! Grudges are stupid, and can often be avoided if someone just clarified their expectations.
2) Clarify your expectations
This step comes easiest when our attitude is focused on high assertion and high relationship.
For example… my wife and I might argue about the position of the window. I want it open. She wants it closed. If we are only considering these two opposing positions we’ll never resolve it. But it takes two to argue. With a high level of assertion and relationship, I might say, “Sweetie, I want the window open because I’m hot.” And then she might say back to me, “Oh my wonderful and amazing hunk of a man, I would prefer the window closed because I have allergies.” (We really do speak like that when we’re fighting… okay not really). Once our interests are discussed rather than our positions, the solution seems simple: Close the window and turn on the A/C!
But sometimes we’re in a situation where our expectations aren’t necessarily great expectations; in these cases, it might be better to modify what we’re thinking.
3) Modify your expectations
Expectations can be reasonable AND unrealistic at the same time.
Generally speaking, its reasonable but unrealistic to expect people to be passionate about the things you’re passionate about. God put that passion in your heart; that doesn’t mean its everyone else’s mission. For specific example, it is reasonable to expect everyone else to give towards the charity that you love so much, but unrealistic.
4) Abandon your expectations
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with people that are stressed out about a temporary problem. Especially at night. It’ll be better in the morning, folks!
Often I need to abandon my expectations temporarily. If there’s nothing I can do about it today, I’m not doing anybody any favors if I keep it bottled up inside of me. I have to abandon it (and forget it!) until I’m able to actually clarify my expectation.
Other times, my unmet expectations aren’t that big of deals. Or they are completely outside my control and I can’t do anything about it. In these cases, I have to abandon my unmet expectations to my God. Turning it over to him and giving Jesus control is a great option.
I think this is what the Apostle Paul did when there was a jerk named Alexander the Coppersmith who really screwed Paul over somehow. Certainly Paul was frustrated, but he abandoned his unmet expecations to the lord when he wrote, “the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Timothy 4:14).
I’ve been exploring for a little for any high quality
articles or weblog posts on this kind of house .
Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this site.
Studying this information So i’m satisfied to
exhibit that I have a very just right uncanny feeling I found out exactly what I needed.
I most unquestionably will make sure to do not omit this site and provides it a look regularly.
I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this site. I really hope to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own, personal website now 😉
Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular article! It is the little changes that will make the greatest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
This is a topic that is near to my heart… Many thanks! Exactly where are your contact details though?
Very good post. I will be going through many of these issues as well..
I truly appreciate this blog.Thanks Again. Really Cool.
I could not resist commenting. Very well written!
Spot on with this write-up, I really think this amazing site needs a lot more attention. IÃÂll probably be returning to read more, thanks for the advice!
Next time I read a blog, I hope that it does not fail me just as much as this particular one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read through, nonetheless I really thought you would probably have something useful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something you can fix if you were not too busy searching for attention.
Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this write-up plus the rest of the website is also really good.
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day. It will always be interesting to read articles from other authors and use something from their websites.
There’s certainly a great deal to know about this issue. I love all of the points you’ve made.
Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of the website is really good.
Everything is very open with a precise description of the challenges. It was definitely informative. Your website is extremely helpful. Thanks for sharing!
Excellent blog you have got here.. ItÃÂs hard to find good quality writing like yours nowadays. I really appreciate people like you! Take care!!
You are so interesting! I don’t believe I’ve truly read through something like this before. So wonderful to discover another person with unique thoughts on this topic. Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This web site is one thing that’s needed on the web, someone with a bit of originality!
There is definately a lot to learn about this subject. I like all of the points you’ve made.
This website was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve found something that helped me. Cheers!
I need to to thank you for this very good read!! I absolutely loved every little bit of it. I’ve got you book-marked to check out new things you postÖ
Great article post. Great.
Hello there! I could have sworn IÃÂve visited this site before but after browsing through many of the articles I realized itÃÂs new to me. Regardless, IÃÂm certainly delighted I stumbled upon it and IÃÂll be book-marking it and checking back often!
Really appreciate you sharing this blog article.Thanks Again. Fantastic.
Howdy! I just want to offer you a big thumbs up for the great information you have right here on this post. I’ll be coming back to your web site for more soon.
Hello, There’s no doubt that your blog could be having browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in IE, it has some overlapping issues. I just wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Besides that, wonderful website!
I need to to thank you for this wonderful read!! I certainly enjoyed every bit of it. I have got you bookmarked to check out new stuff you postÖ
Hi there, I think your site could possibly be having browser compatibility issues. When I take a look at your site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Aside from that, great blog!
I blog frequently and I seriously appreciate your content. The article has really peaked my interest. I will bookmark your blog and keep checking for new details about once a week. I subscribed to your RSS feed as well.
Thanks-a-mundo for the article post.Thanks Again. Keep writing.
I loved your post.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on…
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon everyday. It will always be useful to read content from other authors and practice something from other websites.
An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment. I do think that you ought to write more about this topic, it may not be a taboo subject but usually people do not talk about such topics. To the next! All the best!!
Can I simply just say what a comfort to uncover an individual who genuinely understands what they are discussing on the web. You certainly understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people really need to look at this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you are not more popular since you surely have the gift.
Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day. It’s always useful to read through articles from other writers and practice a little something from their sites.
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Many thanks, However I am experiencing issues with your RSS. I donÃÂt know why I can’t join it. Is there anybody having identical RSS issues? Anybody who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanks!!
Hi, I do think this is an excellent site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I’m going to come back yet again since i have bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
Thank you for your article post.
Next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesn’t disappoint me as much as this particular one. After all, I know it was my choice to read, but I really thought you’d have something useful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something you could possibly fix if you were not too busy looking for attention.
ItÃÂs hard to come by educated people for this topic, however, you seem like you know what youÃÂre talking about! Thanks
IÃÂm impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog thatÃÂs equally educative and amusing, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The problem is something not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy that I came across this during my search for something regarding this.
Good information. Lucky me I found your site by accident (stumbleupon). I’ve book marked it for later!
When I initially commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the exact same comment. There has to be a way you are able to remove me from that service? Appreciate it!
You’ve made some good points there. I looked on the web for more info about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this site.
That is a good tip especially to those new to the blogosphere. Short but very accurate infoÖ Many thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!
Greetings, I think your site could be having internet browser compatibility issues. When I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to give you a quick heads up! Apart from that, great site!
Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking the time and actual effort to make a really good articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I put things off a whole lot and never manage to get nearly anything done.
Everything is very open with a clear clarification of the issues. It was truly informative. Your site is very helpful. Many thanks for sharing!
Excellent blog post. I absolutely love this website. Stick with it!
Greetings, There’s no doubt that your web site could possibly be having web browser compatibility problems. When I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in IE, it’s got some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, wonderful blog!
I could not refrain from commenting. Well written!
Aw, this was a very good post. Taking the time and actual effort to make a superb articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I put things off a lot and never manage to get anything done.