Why do we get frustrated?
I think its because our expectations aren’t being met. That’s all frustrations are — unmet expectations. We never call it that – but if you’re frustrated — somewhere in the situation is an expectation that’s not being met.
Whether we didn’t close a deal, had a waitress bring the wrong food, or having a clash with some family member — unmet expectations are FRUSTRATING!
It’s ESPECIALLY FRUSTRATING when our expectations are not being met by things that are out of our control. Like let’s say your crazy boss is ruining your life. You can’t change your crazy boss; you have no control over him! But we DO have control over how we handle our unmet expectations.
Here’s four options.
1) Cling to your expectations.
Sometimes our expectations are hills worth dying on. Sometimes its noble.
But it should never be the only choice. If we only cling to our expectations, we will STAY frustrated and never get beyond it. That’s not just frustration — that’s the making for a grudge! Grudges are stupid, and can often be avoided if someone just clarified their expectations.
2) Clarify your expectations
This step comes easiest when our attitude is focused on high assertion and high relationship.
For example… my wife and I might argue about the position of the window. I want it open. She wants it closed. If we are only considering these two opposing positions we’ll never resolve it. But it takes two to argue. With a high level of assertion and relationship, I might say, “Sweetie, I want the window open because I’m hot.” And then she might say back to me, “Oh my wonderful and amazing hunk of a man, I would prefer the window closed because I have allergies.” (We really do speak like that when we’re fighting… okay not really). Once our interests are discussed rather than our positions, the solution seems simple: Close the window and turn on the A/C!
But sometimes we’re in a situation where our expectations aren’t necessarily great expectations; in these cases, it might be better to modify what we’re thinking.
3) Modify your expectations
Expectations can be reasonable AND unrealistic at the same time.
Generally speaking, its reasonable but unrealistic to expect people to be passionate about the things you’re passionate about. God put that passion in your heart; that doesn’t mean its everyone else’s mission. For specific example, it is reasonable to expect everyone else to give towards the charity that you love so much, but unrealistic.
4) Abandon your expectations
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with people that are stressed out about a temporary problem. Especially at night. It’ll be better in the morning, folks!
Often I need to abandon my expectations temporarily. If there’s nothing I can do about it today, I’m not doing anybody any favors if I keep it bottled up inside of me. I have to abandon it (and forget it!) until I’m able to actually clarify my expectation.
Other times, my unmet expectations aren’t that big of deals. Or they are completely outside my control and I can’t do anything about it. In these cases, I have to abandon my unmet expectations to my God. Turning it over to him and giving Jesus control is a great option.
I think this is what the Apostle Paul did when there was a jerk named Alexander the Coppersmith who really screwed Paul over somehow. Certainly Paul was frustrated, but he abandoned his unmet expecations to the lord when he wrote, “the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Timothy 4:14).
Everything is very open with a clear description of the challenges. It was definitely informative. Your site is very useful. Many thanks for sharing!
I’m pretty pleased to find this great site. I wanted to thank you for ones time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every bit of it and I have you saved to fav to see new stuff on your website.
Everything is very open with a precise clarification of the issues. It was definitely informative. Your website is useful. Thanks for sharing!
Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not fail me just as much as this one. After all, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually believed you’d have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something that you could possibly fix if you weren’t too busy looking for attention.
You’re so cool! I do not believe I’ve read something like this before. So great to find someone with a few genuine thoughts on this issue. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This web site is one thing that is required on the internet, someone with a bit of originality!
You made some really good points there. I looked on the internet to learn more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this website.
The next time I read a blog, I hope that it won’t disappoint me just as much as this one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read, nonetheless I truly thought you would probably have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of crying about something that you can fix if you weren’t too busy searching for attention.
When I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now whenever a comment is added I get 4 emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is a means you can remove me from that service? Cheers!
bookmarked!!, I love your website!
I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this blog. I really hope to see the same high-grade content by you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my very own site now 😉
Greetings! Very useful advice within this article! It’s the little changes that produce the most significant changes. Thanks for sharing!
You are so cool! I do not think I’ve truly read something like that before. So good to find somebody with a few unique thoughts on this issue. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This site is one thing that is required on the web, someone with some originality!
Everything is very open with a very clear explanation of the issues. It was definitely informative. Your site is useful. Thank you for sharing!
Saved as a favorite, I like your web site!
ItÃÂs nearly impossible to find educated people about this subject, but you seem like you know what youÃÂre talking about! Thanks
I could not resist commenting. Perfectly written!
I used to be able to find good information from your content.
I used to be able to find good info from your blog articles.
Good post. I’m dealing with a few of these issues as well..
After going over a few of the articles on your site, I really appreciate your technique of blogging. I book-marked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back in the near future. Please check out my website as well and tell me how you feel.
This site truly has all the information and facts I wanted concerning this subject and didnÃÂt know who to ask.
This website was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something which helped me. Thanks a lot!
Hi, I do think this is an excellent site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may return yet again since I book marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
Good info. Lucky me I found your blog by accident (stumbleupon). I have book marked it for later!
Hi, I do think this is a great site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may come back yet again since i have saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide others.
Excellent post. I am facing some of these issues as well..
An intriguing discussion is worth comment. I do believe that you should publish more about this issue, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people do not speak about these issues. To the next! Cheers!!
An interesting discussion is worth comment. I do think that you ought to write more about this issue, it may not be a taboo subject but usually people don’t speak about these issues. To the next! Cheers!!
Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Many thanks, However I am having difficulties with your RSS. I donÃÂt understand why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anyone else having identical RSS issues? Anybody who knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanx!!
I love it when people come together and share views. Great site, keep it up!
IÃÂm amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog thatÃÂs equally educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The problem is an issue that too few folks are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I came across this during my hunt for something relating to this.
Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular post! It’s the little changes which will make the most significant changes. Many thanks for sharing!
Having read this I believed it was rather informative. I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this information together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!
Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular article! It is the little changes which will make the most important changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
I was able to find good advice from your articles.
Great article. I’m facing some of these issues as well..
IÃÂm impressed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog thatÃÂs both equally educative and interesting, and without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that too few men and women are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy I came across this during my search for something regarding this.
You’re so interesting! I don’t suppose I’ve read through a single thing like this before. So wonderful to find another person with original thoughts on this topic. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This site is one thing that is required on the web, someone with a little originality!
I enjoy reading through a post that will make men and women think. Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!
That is a really good tip particularly to those new to the blogosphere. Brief but very accurate informationÖ Thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!
A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you ought to publish more about this subject, it might not be a taboo matter but generally people don’t discuss these issues. To the next! Kind regards!!
May I simply say what a comfort to discover an individual who actually knows what they’re discussing on the net. You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people need to check this out and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you are not more popular given that you surely have the gift.
Good post. I absolutely appreciate this website. Keep it up!
There’s certainly a lot to learn about this subject. I like all the points you have made.
This web site definitely has all the info I wanted about this subject and didnÃÂt know who to ask.
Hi there! This article could not be written any better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I most certainly will send this post to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a very good read. Thank you for sharing!
Excellent article. I absolutely love this website. Keep it up!
Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful post. Many thanks for supplying this information.
Excellent post! We will be linking to this great content on our site. Keep up the good writing.
I’m excited to uncover this website. I wanted to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely loved every part of it and I have you book marked to check out new stuff on your web site.