Why do we get frustrated?
I think its because our expectations aren’t being met. That’s all frustrations are — unmet expectations. We never call it that – but if you’re frustrated — somewhere in the situation is an expectation that’s not being met.
Whether we didn’t close a deal, had a waitress bring the wrong food, or having a clash with some family member — unmet expectations are FRUSTRATING!
It’s ESPECIALLY FRUSTRATING when our expectations are not being met by things that are out of our control. Like let’s say your crazy boss is ruining your life. You can’t change your crazy boss; you have no control over him! But we DO have control over how we handle our unmet expectations.
Here’s four options.
1) Cling to your expectations.
Sometimes our expectations are hills worth dying on. Sometimes its noble.
But it should never be the only choice. If we only cling to our expectations, we will STAY frustrated and never get beyond it. That’s not just frustration — that’s the making for a grudge! Grudges are stupid, and can often be avoided if someone just clarified their expectations.
2) Clarify your expectations
This step comes easiest when our attitude is focused on high assertion and high relationship.
For example… my wife and I might argue about the position of the window. I want it open. She wants it closed. If we are only considering these two opposing positions we’ll never resolve it. But it takes two to argue. With a high level of assertion and relationship, I might say, “Sweetie, I want the window open because I’m hot.” And then she might say back to me, “Oh my wonderful and amazing hunk of a man, I would prefer the window closed because I have allergies.” (We really do speak like that when we’re fighting… okay not really). Once our interests are discussed rather than our positions, the solution seems simple: Close the window and turn on the A/C!
But sometimes we’re in a situation where our expectations aren’t necessarily great expectations; in these cases, it might be better to modify what we’re thinking.
3) Modify your expectations
Expectations can be reasonable AND unrealistic at the same time.
Generally speaking, its reasonable but unrealistic to expect people to be passionate about the things you’re passionate about. God put that passion in your heart; that doesn’t mean its everyone else’s mission. For specific example, it is reasonable to expect everyone else to give towards the charity that you love so much, but unrealistic.
4) Abandon your expectations
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with people that are stressed out about a temporary problem. Especially at night. It’ll be better in the morning, folks!
Often I need to abandon my expectations temporarily. If there’s nothing I can do about it today, I’m not doing anybody any favors if I keep it bottled up inside of me. I have to abandon it (and forget it!) until I’m able to actually clarify my expectation.
Other times, my unmet expectations aren’t that big of deals. Or they are completely outside my control and I can’t do anything about it. In these cases, I have to abandon my unmet expectations to my God. Turning it over to him and giving Jesus control is a great option.
I think this is what the Apostle Paul did when there was a jerk named Alexander the Coppersmith who really screwed Paul over somehow. Certainly Paul was frustrated, but he abandoned his unmet expecations to the lord when he wrote, “the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Timothy 4:14).
Great, thanks for sharing this blog article.Thanks Again. Fantastic.
Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular post! It’s the little changes that make the largest changes. Many thanks for sharing!
When I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is a means you are able to remove me from that service? Cheers!
I’m more than happy to uncover this website. I wanted to thank you for ones time for this fantastic read!! I definitely appreciated every little bit of it and i also have you saved as a favorite to look at new things on your website.
Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you penning this article and also the rest of the website is really good.
Good post. I learn something new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day. It’s always helpful to read content from other authors and use a little something from their web sites.
You’re so interesting! I do not think I have read through something like that before. So nice to find another person with a few unique thoughts on this issue. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This web site is one thing that is needed on the web, someone with some originality!
You need to take part in a contest for one of the finest websites online. I most certainly will recommend this website!
Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme
of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s
very hard to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability
and appearance. I must say that you’ve done a awesome job with
this. Additionally, the blog loads very quick for me on Internet explorer.
Exceptional Blog!
Good post. I definitely appreciate this website. Keep it up!
Everything is very open with a very clear description of the issues. It was truly informative. Your website is very helpful. Thanks for sharing!
Hi! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay.
I’m undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.
I absolutely love your website.. Pleasant colors & theme. Did you develop this web site yourself? Please reply back as IÃm planning to create my very own site and would like to know where you got this from or exactly what the theme is called. Cheers!
bookmarked!!, I really like your web site!
Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you penning this article and the rest of the website is also really good.
Your style is very unique in comparison to other folks I’ve read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark this page.
This is the perfect site for anyone who wants to understand this topic. You know so much its almost tough to argue with you (not that I really would want toÖHaHa). You definitely put a fresh spin on a topic which has been written about for decades. Wonderful stuff, just excellent!
I couldnÃt refrain from commenting. Very well written!
Howdy! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept preaching about this. I most certainly will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a very good read. Thanks for sharing!
Saved as a favorite, I like your website!
Hi there! I could have sworn IÃve visited this website before but after browsing through many of the posts I realized itÃs new to me. Anyhow, IÃm certainly happy I came across it and IÃll be book-marking it and checking back regularly!
Hi, I do think this is an excellent site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going to come back once again since I book-marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.
Good site you’ve got here.. ItÃs difficult to find high-quality writing like yours nowadays. I honestly appreciate people like you! Take care!!
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thank you, However I am having difficulties with your RSS. I donÃt understand why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting identical RSS problems? Anybody who knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanks!!
This page definitely has all the information and facts I wanted about this subject and didnÃt know who to ask.
Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful article. Thanks for supplying this info.
Great article. I am going through many of these issues as well..
I must thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this site. I’m hoping to view the same high-grade content from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own, personal site now 😉
Good blog you’ve got here.. ItÃs hard to find high quality writing like yours nowadays. I honestly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
I was able to find good info from your blog posts.
Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you, However I am having troubles with your RSS. I donÃt know the reason why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting identical RSS problems? Anyone that knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanks!!
I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this blog. I really hope to see the same high-grade content by you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own website now 😉
I blog frequently and I really thank you for your content. This article has truly peaked my interest. I am going to take a note of your site and keep checking for new details about once per week. I subscribed to your Feed too.
May I just say what a relief to find a person that actually understands what they are talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More and more people must read this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised that you aren’t more popular since you certainly have the gift.
WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share..more wait .. …
Fantastic website. A lot of useful info here. I am sending it to some buddies ans additionally sharing in delicious. And naturally, thank you to your sweat!
Howdy! I could have sworn IÃve visited your blog before but after going through many of the posts I realized itÃs new to me. Regardless, IÃm certainly happy I stumbled upon it and IÃll be bookmarking it and checking back frequently!
I was able to find good information from your blog articles.
Next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesn’t fail me just as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read through, however I really thought you’d have something useful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could possibly fix if you were not too busy searching for attention.
Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!
Keep up the fantastic piece of work, I read few posts on this internet site and I conceive that your website is very interesting and has got circles of wonderful information.
Good article. I will be facing some of these issues as well..
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I’ll certainly comeback.
I wanted to thank you for this good read!! I certainly enjoyed every little bit of it. I’ve got you book-marked to check out new things you postÖ
Right here is the right web site for anybody who hopes to find out about this topic. You realize a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want toÖHaHa). You definitely put a fresh spin on a subject that has been written about for ages. Excellent stuff, just excellent!
When I originally commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment. There has to be an easy method you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos!
Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it doesn’t fail me just as much as this particular one. After all, I know it was my choice to read through, nonetheless I truly thought you would probably have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something you can fix if you weren’t too busy seeking attention.
Greetings! Very useful advice within this post! It is the little changes which will make the most important changes. Thanks for sharing!
Having read this I thought it was rather informative. I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this content together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it!
When I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you can remove me from that service? Kudos!