Why do we get frustrated?
I think its because our expectations aren’t being met. That’s all frustrations are — unmet expectations. We never call it that – but if you’re frustrated — somewhere in the situation is an expectation that’s not being met.
Whether we didn’t close a deal, had a waitress bring the wrong food, or having a clash with some family member — unmet expectations are FRUSTRATING!
It’s ESPECIALLY FRUSTRATING when our expectations are not being met by things that are out of our control. Like let’s say your crazy boss is ruining your life. You can’t change your crazy boss; you have no control over him! But we DO have control over how we handle our unmet expectations.
Here’s four options.
1) Cling to your expectations.
Sometimes our expectations are hills worth dying on. Sometimes its noble.
But it should never be the only choice. If we only cling to our expectations, we will STAY frustrated and never get beyond it. That’s not just frustration — that’s the making for a grudge! Grudges are stupid, and can often be avoided if someone just clarified their expectations.
2) Clarify your expectations
This step comes easiest when our attitude is focused on high assertion and high relationship.
For example… my wife and I might argue about the position of the window. I want it open. She wants it closed. If we are only considering these two opposing positions we’ll never resolve it. But it takes two to argue. With a high level of assertion and relationship, I might say, “Sweetie, I want the window open because I’m hot.” And then she might say back to me, “Oh my wonderful and amazing hunk of a man, I would prefer the window closed because I have allergies.” (We really do speak like that when we’re fighting… okay not really). Once our interests are discussed rather than our positions, the solution seems simple: Close the window and turn on the A/C!
But sometimes we’re in a situation where our expectations aren’t necessarily great expectations; in these cases, it might be better to modify what we’re thinking.
3) Modify your expectations
Expectations can be reasonable AND unrealistic at the same time.
Generally speaking, its reasonable but unrealistic to expect people to be passionate about the things you’re passionate about. God put that passion in your heart; that doesn’t mean its everyone else’s mission. For specific example, it is reasonable to expect everyone else to give towards the charity that you love so much, but unrealistic.
4) Abandon your expectations
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with people that are stressed out about a temporary problem. Especially at night. It’ll be better in the morning, folks!
Often I need to abandon my expectations temporarily. If there’s nothing I can do about it today, I’m not doing anybody any favors if I keep it bottled up inside of me. I have to abandon it (and forget it!) until I’m able to actually clarify my expectation.
Other times, my unmet expectations aren’t that big of deals. Or they are completely outside my control and I can’t do anything about it. In these cases, I have to abandon my unmet expectations to my God. Turning it over to him and giving Jesus control is a great option.
I think this is what the Apostle Paul did when there was a jerk named Alexander the Coppersmith who really screwed Paul over somehow. Certainly Paul was frustrated, but he abandoned his unmet expecations to the lord when he wrote, “the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Timothy 4:14).
Right here is the perfect blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You know a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want toÖHaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic that’s been written about for a long time. Excellent stuff, just excellent!
Great site you’ve got here.. Itís hard to find quality writing like yours these days. I seriously appreciate people like you! Take care!!
Can I simply say what a relief to find somebody that genuinely knows what they are talking about on the net. You actually understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More and more people should look at this and understand this side of your story. It’s surprising you are not more popular since you definitely have the gift.
When I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I receive four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you can remove me from that service? Cheers!
Spot on with this write-up, I honestly believe this site needs a lot more attention. Iíll probably be back again to read more, thanks for the information!
I used to be able to find good advice from your blog posts.
Having read this I thought it was really enlightening. I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this content together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worthwhile!
bookmarked!!, I love your blog!
Hi there! This article couldnít be written much better! Looking at this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept talking about this. I am going to forward this article to him. Fairly certain he’ll have a very good read. Thank you for sharing!
This is a topic that’s close to my heart… Thank you! Exactly where are your contact details though?
Good article. I definitely love this site. Keep it up!
An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a colleague who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me breakfast simply because I discovered it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this topic here on your blog.
Having read this I thought it was extremely enlightening. I appreciate you spending some time and effort to put this content together. I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worthwhile!
Itís difficult to find educated people about this topic, however, you sound like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks
You should take part in a contest for one of the best websites on the web. I will recommend this site!
I need to to thank you for this fantastic read!! I absolutely enjoyed every bit of it. I’ve got you saved as a favorite to check out new things you postÖ
You made some really good points there. I checked on the internet to learn more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this web site.
I truly love your website.. Great colors & theme. Did you make this web site yourself? Please reply back as Iím attempting to create my own personal site and would love to learn where you got this from or exactly what the theme is called. Many thanks!
After I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks!
I quite like looking through an article that can make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!
Excellent article. I am facing some of these issues as well..
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who had been doing a little research on this. And he actually bought me dinner because I found it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to discuss this topic here on your web site.
Your style is really unique in comparison to other people I’ve read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this web site.
I must thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this site. I’m hoping to check out the same high-grade content by you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my very own blog now 😉
This site truly has all the information I wanted about this subject and didnít know who to ask.
The very next time I read a blog, I hope that it won’t disappoint me as much as this particular one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read, but I really believed you would have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of moaning about something you could possibly fix if you were not too busy searching for attention.
Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Thank you, However I am having troubles with your RSS. I donít understand the reason why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anybody else having similar RSS issues? Anyone that knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanx!!
Your style is really unique compared to other people I have read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this blog.
Good blog you have got here.. Itís hard to find excellent writing like yours these days. I really appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
This is the right webpage for anyone who would like to find out about this topic. You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally would want toÖHaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic that has been written about for years. Great stuff, just wonderful!
Iím amazed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog thatís equally educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is an issue that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy that I stumbled across this during my search for something relating to this.
Spot on with this write-up, I seriously feel this amazing site needs a great deal more attention. Iíll probably be returning to read more, thanks for the information!
A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. I believe that you ought to write more about this issue, it might not be a taboo matter but usually people don’t discuss these topics. To the next! Many thanks!!
Hi, I do think this is an excellent website. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may return once again since i have book marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thanks, However I am encountering difficulties with your RSS. I donít understand the reason why I am unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting the same RSS issues? Anyone that knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanx!!
You should be a part of a contest for one of the highest quality websites online. I’m going to highly recommend this site!
Everything is very open with a really clear description of the issues. It was truly informative. Your site is useful. Thanks for sharing!
This website definitely has all the information I needed concerning this subject and didnít know who to ask.
I was able to find good info from your blog posts.
That is a very good tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very precise infoÖ Many thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!
I’d like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this blog. I really hope to view the same high-grade blog posts by you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my very own site now 😉
Good post. I absolutely love this site. Stick with it!
Itís difficult to find well-informed people in this particular subject, however, you sound like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks
I blog quite often and I truly appreciate your information. This article has truly peaked my interest. I’m going to bookmark your site and keep checking for new details about once per week. I subscribed to your Feed as well.
Great post! We are linking to this great post on our site. Keep up the great writing.
The next time I read a blog, Hopefully it doesn’t disappoint me just as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read through, however I actually thought you would probably have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something that you could fix if you were not too busy looking for attention.
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post plus the rest of the website is extremely good.
This is a topic which is near to my heart… Best wishes! Where are your contact details though?
When I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. Is there a way you can remove me from that service? Cheers!
This site was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me. Thank you!