Why do we get frustrated?
I think its because our expectations aren’t being met. That’s all frustrations are — unmet expectations. We never call it that – but if you’re frustrated — somewhere in the situation is an expectation that’s not being met.
Whether we didn’t close a deal, had a waitress bring the wrong food, or having a clash with some family member — unmet expectations are FRUSTRATING!
It’s ESPECIALLY FRUSTRATING when our expectations are not being met by things that are out of our control. Like let’s say your crazy boss is ruining your life. You can’t change your crazy boss; you have no control over him! But we DO have control over how we handle our unmet expectations.
Here’s four options.
1) Cling to your expectations.
Sometimes our expectations are hills worth dying on. Sometimes its noble.
But it should never be the only choice. If we only cling to our expectations, we will STAY frustrated and never get beyond it. That’s not just frustration — that’s the making for a grudge! Grudges are stupid, and can often be avoided if someone just clarified their expectations.
2) Clarify your expectations
This step comes easiest when our attitude is focused on high assertion and high relationship.
For example… my wife and I might argue about the position of the window. I want it open. She wants it closed. If we are only considering these two opposing positions we’ll never resolve it. But it takes two to argue. With a high level of assertion and relationship, I might say, “Sweetie, I want the window open because I’m hot.” And then she might say back to me, “Oh my wonderful and amazing hunk of a man, I would prefer the window closed because I have allergies.” (We really do speak like that when we’re fighting… okay not really). Once our interests are discussed rather than our positions, the solution seems simple: Close the window and turn on the A/C!
But sometimes we’re in a situation where our expectations aren’t necessarily great expectations; in these cases, it might be better to modify what we’re thinking.
3) Modify your expectations
Expectations can be reasonable AND unrealistic at the same time.
Generally speaking, its reasonable but unrealistic to expect people to be passionate about the things you’re passionate about. God put that passion in your heart; that doesn’t mean its everyone else’s mission. For specific example, it is reasonable to expect everyone else to give towards the charity that you love so much, but unrealistic.
4) Abandon your expectations
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with people that are stressed out about a temporary problem. Especially at night. It’ll be better in the morning, folks!
Often I need to abandon my expectations temporarily. If there’s nothing I can do about it today, I’m not doing anybody any favors if I keep it bottled up inside of me. I have to abandon it (and forget it!) until I’m able to actually clarify my expectation.
Other times, my unmet expectations aren’t that big of deals. Or they are completely outside my control and I can’t do anything about it. In these cases, I have to abandon my unmet expectations to my God. Turning it over to him and giving Jesus control is a great option.
I think this is what the Apostle Paul did when there was a jerk named Alexander the Coppersmith who really screwed Paul over somehow. Certainly Paul was frustrated, but he abandoned his unmet expecations to the lord when he wrote, “the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Timothy 4:14).
Hi there! I could have sworn Iíve visited this website before but after looking at some of the posts I realized itís new to me. Regardless, Iím certainly pleased I stumbled upon it and Iíll be book-marking it and checking back frequently!
Very good article. I’m experiencing a few of these issues as well..
This website truly has all of the information I wanted concerning this subject and didnít know who to ask.
You’re so cool! I don’t suppose I’ve read a single thing like that before. So great to discover someone with some unique thoughts on this topic. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is required on the web, someone with some originality!
Iím amazed, I have to admit. Seldom do I encounter a blog thatís both equally educative and amusing, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that too few men and women are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that I found this in my search for something concerning this.
This is the perfect blog for everyone who wants to understand this topic. You realize a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally would want toÖHaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a topic which has been discussed for decades. Wonderful stuff, just excellent!
Hi there! This post couldnít be written any better! Looking through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept preaching about this. I will forward this information to him. Pretty sure he’s going to have a good read. I appreciate you for sharing!
This is the right website for anyone who would like to understand this topic. You know a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I personally will need toÖHaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic which has been written about for decades. Great stuff, just wonderful!
Hi, I do think this is a great site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I’m going to come back once again since i have book marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide others.
Itís hard to find experienced people in this particular topic, but you sound like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks
I was able to find good advice from your blog articles.
I like looking through a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing for me to comment!
May I simply say what a comfort to find someone that really understands what they’re discussing on the web. You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people must read this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you are not more popular since you certainly have the gift.
Howdy! I just wish to offer you a huge thumbs up for your excellent information you’ve got right here on this post. I’ll be returning to your blog for more soon.
When I initially commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I receive four emails with the same comment. Is there a means you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks a lot!
This web site definitely has all of the info I wanted concerning this subject and didnít know who to ask.
An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I think that you ought to write more about this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but usually folks don’t talk about such subjects. To the next! Kind regards!!
This website was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something which helped me. Cheers!
I blog often and I seriously thank you for your content. The article has really peaked my interest. I am going to take a note of your site and keep checking for new details about once a week. I opted in for your Feed too.
Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon on a daily basis. It will always be useful to read articles from other authors and practice something from other websites.
Pretty! This was a really wonderful post. Thank you for providing this info.
You’ve made some really good points there. I looked on the net to learn more about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this site.
Hi, I do believe this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will come back once again since i have saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.
Can I simply say what a comfort to discover someone that genuinely knows what they are discussing online. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people really need to check this out and understand this side of your story. It’s surprising you aren’t more popular since you definitely possess the gift.
Spot on with this write-up, I seriously believe this amazing site needs far more attention. Iíll probably be returning to read through more, thanks for the advice!
Greetings! Very helpful advice within this post! It is the little changes that make the largest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!
Hi, I do believe this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going to come back once again since I bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.
I blog frequently and I genuinely thank you for your content. The article has truly peaked my interest. I’m going to bookmark your website and keep checking for new details about once per week. I subscribed to your Feed as well.
Everyone loves it when individuals come together and share ideas. Great blog, stick with it!
Great information. Lucky me I came across your blog by accident (stumbleupon). I’ve saved it for later!
I want to to thank you for this excellent read!! I certainly loved every little bit of it. I have you book-marked to check out new things you postÖ
Great article. I am experiencing some of these issues as well..
Howdy! I simply want to offer you a huge thumbs up for the excellent info you have got right here on this post. I will be coming back to your blog for more soon.
You should take part in a contest for one of the finest websites on the internet. I’m going to highly recommend this blog!
This is a good tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very accurate infoÖ Thank you for sharing this one. A must read post!
I love it whenever people come together and share opinions. Great site, stick with it!
Hi there! This article could not be written any better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept preaching about this. I most certainly will forward this article to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!
The next time I read a blog, Hopefully it doesn’t disappoint me just as much as this one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read, nonetheless I genuinely thought you would have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of crying about something you could fix if you were not too busy seeking attention.
Great article. I am facing many of these issues as well..
After I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is a means you are able to remove me from that service? Many thanks!
Pretty! This has been an incredibly wonderful article. Thanks for providing these details.
This site was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve found something that helped me. Thanks a lot!
Having read this I thought it was extremely informative. I appreciate you finding the time and effort to put this information together. I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!
You’re so interesting! I don’t believe I have read through a single thing like this before. So nice to find somebody with genuine thoughts on this subject matter. Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This site is one thing that’s needed on the web, someone with a little originality!
Wonderful article! We will be linking to this great post on our site. Keep up the great writing.
Hi there! This post could not be written any better! Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept preaching about this. I’ll send this information to him. Pretty sure he’s going to have a very good read. Thanks for sharing!
Hi, I do believe this is an excellent website. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will return yet again since I book-marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
I like it when people get together and share ideas. Great site, continue the good work!
This is a topic that is close to my heart… Thank you! Where are your contact details though?
Greetings! Very useful advice within this post! It’s the little changes that make the greatest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!