Posted on by Adam

What To Do When You’re Frustrated.

Why do we get frustrated?

I think its because our expectations aren’t being met. That’s all frustrations are — unmet expectations. We never call it that – but if you’re frustrated — somewhere in the situation is an expectation that’s not being met.

Whether we didn’t close a deal, had a waitress bring the wrong food, or having a clash with some family member — unmet expectations are FRUSTRATING!

It’s ESPECIALLY FRUSTRATING when our expectations are not being met by things that are out of our control. Like let’s say your crazy boss is ruining your life. You can’t change your crazy boss; you have no control over him! But we DO have control over how we handle our unmet expectations.

Here’s four options.

1) Cling to your expectations.
Sometimes our expectations are hills worth dying on. Sometimes its noble.

But it should never be the only choice. If we only cling to our expectations, we will STAY frustrated and never get beyond it. That’s not just frustration — that’s the making for a grudge! Grudges are stupid, and can often be avoided if someone just clarified their expectations.

2) Clarify your expectations
This step comes easiest when our attitude is focused on high assertion and high relationship.

For example… my wife and I might argue about the position of the window. I want it open. She wants it closed. If we are only considering these two opposing positions we’ll never resolve it. But it takes two to argue. With a high level of assertion and relationship, I might say, “Sweetie, I want the window open because I’m hot.” And then she might say back to me, “Oh my wonderful and amazing hunk of a man, I would prefer the window closed because I have allergies.” (We really do speak like that when we’re fighting… okay not really). Once our interests are discussed rather than our positions, the solution seems simple: Close the window and turn on the A/C!

But sometimes we’re in a situation where our expectations aren’t necessarily great expectations; in these cases, it might be better to modify what we’re thinking.

3) Modify your expectations
Expectations can be reasonable AND unrealistic at the same time.

Generally speaking, its reasonable but unrealistic to expect people to be passionate about the things you’re passionate about. God put that passion in your heart; that doesn’t mean its everyone else’s mission. For specific example, it is reasonable to expect everyone else to give towards the charity that you love so much, but unrealistic.

4) Abandon your expectations
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with people that are stressed out about a temporary problem. Especially at night. It’ll be better in the morning, folks!

Often I need to abandon my expectations temporarily. If there’s nothing I can do about it today, I’m not doing anybody any favors if I keep it bottled up inside of me. I have to abandon it (and forget it!) until I’m able to actually clarify my expectation.

Other times, my unmet expectations aren’t that big of deals. Or they are completely outside my control and I can’t do anything about it. In these cases, I have to abandon my unmet expectations to my God. Turning it over to him and giving Jesus control is a great option.

I think this is what the Apostle Paul did when there was a jerk named Alexander the Coppersmith who really screwed Paul over somehow. Certainly Paul was frustrated, but he abandoned his unmet expecations to the lord when he wrote, “the Lord will repay him according to his deeds” (2 Timothy 4:14).

2,305 Replies to “What To Do When You’re Frustrated.”

  2. Hello there! I just want to give you a big thumbs up for the great information you’ve got right here on this post. I will be returning to your blog for more soon.

  3. Hello there! I just want to give you a big thumbs up for your excellent information you’ve got here on this post. I’ll be returning to your site for more soon.

  8. I’m amazed, I have to admit. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s equally educative and amusing, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The problem is something which too few people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that I found this during my search for something regarding this.

  10. Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after looking at some of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Regardless, I’m certainly happy I discovered it and I’ll be book-marking it and checking back regularly!

  12. May I simply say what a relief to uncover somebody that actually knows what they are talking about online. You actually know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people really need to look at this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised you are not more popular because you most certainly possess the gift.

  14. A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you need to write more on this topic, it may not be a taboo subject but generally people do not speak about these subjects. To the next! Kind regards!!

  15. I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy I came across this during my search for something concerning this.

  18. I’m impressed, I must say. Seldom do I encounter a blog that’s both equally educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The issue is something which too few men and women are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy that I came across this during my hunt for something relating to this.

  19. You’re so cool! I don’t think I have read anything like this before. So good to discover another person with some genuine thoughts on this subject matter. Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality!

  20. An intriguing discussion is worth comment. I think that you need to write more on this subject, it might not be a taboo matter but typically folks don’t speak about these issues. To the next! Kind regards!!

  21. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it does not disappoint me just as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read through, but I truly believed you would have something helpful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something you can fix if you weren’t too busy looking for attention.

  22. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it does not disappoint me just as much as this particular one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read through, however I truly believed you’d have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something that you can fix if you were not too busy seeking attention.

  25. This is the right webpage for everyone who would like to understand this topic. You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want to…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic that’s been discussed for ages. Excellent stuff, just excellent!

  28. Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it doesn’t disappoint me as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read, nonetheless I genuinely thought you would have something helpful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something that you could fix if you were not too busy searching for attention.

  29. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you so much, However I am experiencing difficulties with your RSS. I don’t understand why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anyone else getting similar RSS issues? Anybody who knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  31. The very next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not fail me just as much as this particular one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read, but I genuinely believed you’d have something helpful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something that you can fix if you were not too busy looking for attention.

  32. The next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not fail me as much as this particular one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought you would have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of complaining about something that you could fix if you weren’t too busy searching for attention.

  38. I’m impressed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both equally educative and amusing, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The issue is something too few men and women are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to this.

  41. Have you ever thought about publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog based on the same information you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my subscribers would enjoy your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e-mail.

  45. I seriously love your blog.. Very nice colors & theme. Did you make this amazing site yourself? Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my own blog and would like to find out where you got this from or just what the theme is called. Kudos!

  46. I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both equally educative and engaging, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I stumbled across this during my hunt for something concerning this.

  48. An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a friend who had been doing a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me lunch because I discovered it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending the time to talk about this issue here on your web site.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *